Business

Following the revelation that global election results are being coerced by nefarious social media activity, local tech startup Jordanstown Analytica have admitted they've been manipulating NI voters on Facebook too. "Our practices aren't as sophisticated as them Cambridge smartholes," admitted...

Northern Irish drinkers were left furious after reports emerged that one of Belfast's most treasured places to not swing a cat is being sent home because it's a foreigner. "Si senor, they have told us to pack up our sheet...

The value of shares in County Tyrone has plummeted after two days of frantic trading on Wall Street. The crisis began yesterday on the New York Sticks Exchange, where all things culchie are traditionally traded. The turf price was the first...

Scientists across the globe are hailing a 'major breakthrough in human development' after a Co. Antrim housewife became the first ever woman to work out how to put a toilet seat down. 42-year-old Wanda Pish made the discovery when she...

Supermarket giant Sainsbury's has been forced to cancel its planned massive baby sale as it has unable to source enough over-sized infants. "Massive baby sales have become increasingly popular across the retail sector," said Tommy Tippee, Sainsbury's Head of Ridiculous...

Top celebrities have been exploiting legal loopholes to hide millions of pounds in secret offshore bank accounts based in the Co. Tyrone town of Coalisland, a huge leak of financial documents has revealed. Dubbed the 'Peat Bog Papers', the documents...

Ryanair Chief Executive Michael O'Leary is the bookie's favourite for the 'People's Choice' prize at the annual Boot up the Hole Awards ceremony, organised by The Ulster Fry website. Mr O'Leary has been nominated for the gong following his decision...

With hundreds of Ryanair flights facing cancellation over unused vacation time, Secretary of State James Brokenshire has dramatically ordered work-shy MLAs to start earning their wages and take to the skies. "It's an ideal solution" he told a press conference earlier. "Much like pilots,...

There is growing concern in security circles that traditional 'High Street' price wars may be about to escalate after Poundland began selling nuclear weapons in its Banbridge branch. The move comes amid heightened tensions in the budget shopping sector, with the 'Big...

In a shock development unrelated to anything in the news, it has emerged that the DUP has plans to launch its own travel agency. "Club 16-90 will offer attractive holidays whatever your budget, so long as that budget is absolutely humongous...