Business

With yet more technical difficulties striking their services today, Ulster Bank chiefs have confirmed that they are set to convert their holdings into a chain of bookies, in an effort to improve the chances of actually making a cash withdrawal...

Following the revelation that global election results are being coerced by nefarious social media activity, local tech startup Jordanstown Analytica have admitted they've been manipulating NI voters on Facebook too. "Our practices aren't as sophisticated as them Cambridge smartholes," admitted...

After another security hoax went viral on social media, Facebook have finally admitted the vast majority of their users will believe any oul shite. "Nearly 15 years on, and most still haven't figured on no-one ever wins those free iPads, Thompson...

Northern Ireland's transport links moved proudly into the 1960s today with the approval of plans for a third bus-stop at the world famous Belfast International Airport. Tourists from across the globe regularly jet into the International Airport from far-flung destinations such...

Experts at Larne School of Economics have warned that unless the government steps in soon, there may be a chronic flag shortage in Northern Ireland by 2018. Dr Mervyn Fullerton, head of the think tank, claims that “since Naomi Long...

Drunk people across Northern Ireland are celebrating this evening after the University of Ulster revealed that getting wrote aff during Euro 2016 will not only be good craic, it will also provide a massive boost to the economy. Experts at...

People who enjoy new dining experiences excitedly stood in a very long queue yesterday, to give all their money to a revolutionary new Belfast restaurant that sells meat inside baps. "Aw it was amazing" said first time burger eater Eden...

Ryanair Chief Executive Michael O'Leary is the bookie's favourite for the 'People's Choice' prize at the annual Boot up the Hole Awards ceremony, organised by The Ulster Fry website. Mr O'Leary has been nominated for the gong following his decision...

Amid rumours that the next Star Wars film will be partly filmed on the dank, inhospitable planet of Lisburn, the Northern Ireland economy received a further boost after it was revealed that Harland and Wolff shipyard will build the...

Cultural commentators across the globe have agreed that Western Civilisation can advance no further after an off licence in Lurgan unveiled the Buckfast Easter Egg. "Writers, artists, inventors and scientists can just give up now," said that BBC culture expert...