Business

After decades of taunting from people who angrily quit work, one local boss has finally made good on an age-old parting suggestion and literally stuck his job up his arse. "It started like any other shift" explained Chuck McNugget from Belfast Fried Chicken. "Kayleigh was on the tills...

As the Merchant Hotel launches their new water menu, the Ulster Fry can exclusively reveal that the swanky hotel hipsters are set to cause an even bigger stir by unveiling a new oxygen selection for customers. Here's a sneak...

Owners of Army Surplus stores in Northern Ireland are celebrating after a week which brought "dressing like an paramilitary arsehole" back onto the high street. The news comes after we saw three amusingly sunglassed Loyalists put on a display of antique weaponry on...

A County Antrim petrol station owner is said to be "delighted with himself" after erecting the most ridiculously over-sized milk advert ever seen on the planet. 54-year-old Uel Tanker told The Ulster Fry that the ploy would put his station...

Following the news that Coca Cola have bought coffee chain Costa for £3.9bn, the Ulster Fry can exclusively reveal that Northern Irish soft drinks giant, Maine, have purchased rival coffee brand, Starbucks. "This will be an absolute game changer for...

The share price of Mike Ashley's retail empire sensationally fell by £1bn over the weekend, marking the end of an era for sportswear as the favourite clothing choice for chavs & spides everywhere. "Sadly the only people buying sportswear these days actually want to do sports!" said group spokesman Shelley...

A Buckna Butcher has hit out at his shopkeeper neighbours for cashing in on what he describes as the only day of the year he can make a profit. Nevin Bacon spent the day standing outside his shop growling in...

Sportsman Rory McIlroy still has more ‘money than God’ according to a leading finance expert. The Holywood golfer went to court in Dublin yesterday, where he settled with his former agents for an undisclosed amount, rumoured to be at least...

People who communicate entirely through selfies were distraught today, after news emerged that photo app SnapChat had removed their ‘Top 3’ feature – meaning they could no longer creep on people to see which other people they were creeping...

The National Trust has laid centuries of conjecture to rest by announcing that they built the Giant's Causeway, and that anyone who fancies a dander round it should pay handsomely for the privilege. "People used to think that a giant...