Business

Northern Ireland chalked up another historic first today after local man, Vince Pie, successfully did his entire Christmas shop in Tesco, Newtonbreda without a trolley or basket. “Thon things are for weemin!” he scowled when we approached him for an exclusive...

Millions of people took selfies of themselves looking 'delighted' today after Facebook announced that their newsfeed system would be changing to show more stories about everyone's new favourite topic - themselves. "Our users have complained that our current newsfeed shows too much stuff that they're not interested in" said Mark Zuckerberg...

Police made several arrests this morning following the theft of a number of items from the Lurgan branch of Xtravision. Thieves broke into the store on Wednesday evening and stole over 100 DVDs from the 'bargain bucket', a haul estimated to be worth in...

Following months of denying families their working and family tax credits through ruthless handling of a government contract, US firm Concentrix have been hired by rogue nation, North Korea, to handle complaint calls from it's millions of disgruntled citizens. "Kim Jong Un is really impressed with our...

French car companies have finally woken up to the fact that many people here struggle to pronounce their names, and are to undergo complete rebrands to suit the Northern Irish consumer. According to Parisian motoring journalist Sylvestre Lecat, the change...

After another security hoax went viral on social media, Facebook have finally admitted the vast majority of their users will believe any oul shite. "Nearly 15 years on, and most still haven't figured on no-one ever wins those free iPads, Thompson...

The worlds of Irish business and journalism were left reeling this morning, after a normally well regarded, decent and objective *cough* newspaper, The Irish version of the Daily Mail, was declared morally bankrupt by readers. "It's true" said Editor Dishonour O'Donnell, "I am just...

Following the news that Coca Cola have bought coffee chain Costa for £3.9bn, the Ulster Fry can exclusively reveal that Northern Irish soft drinks giant, Maine, have purchased rival coffee brand, Starbucks. "This will be an absolute game changer for...

Scientists across the globe are hailing a 'major breakthrough in human development' after a Co. Antrim housewife became the first ever woman to work out how to put a toilet seat down. 42-year-old Wanda Pish made the discovery when she...

Top celebrities have been exploiting legal loopholes to hide millions of pounds in secret offshore bank accounts based in the Co. Tyrone town of Coalisland, a huge leak of financial documents has revealed. Dubbed the 'Peat Bog Papers', the documents...