Millions of people took selfies of themselves looking 'delighted' today after Facebook announced that their newsfeed system would be changing to show more stories about everyone's new favourite topic - themselves. "Our users have complained that our current newsfeed shows too much stuff that they're not interested in" said Mark Zuckerberg...
There was much hissing and jeering from travelling fans yesterday, after news that Belfast City Council had invented some lame excuse to monopolise car parking at George Best City Airport and put a cheaper parking alternative out of business. "We're delighted to find a...
The world’s economy has been thrown into chaos this week, after news emerged that human excrement could now be mined for precious metals, including gold, silver and platinum. Scientists in Denver shocked the world on Monday, when they claimed that...
An article released today by satirical website the Ulster Fry is reportedly costing Northern Ireland employers 'a clean fortune', as lazy-arsed employees read it whilst pretending to busy. "Aye I'm supposed to be doing something in a spreadsheet or some...
With yet more technical difficulties striking their services today, Ulster Bank chiefs have confirmed that they are set to convert their holdings into a chain of bookies, in an effort to improve the chances of actually making a cash withdrawal...
Employers across the globe have been alerted to a worldwide job application scam, with millions of people everywhere claiming to have qualifications from fictional academic institutions. Antrim man Kevin Spratt failed to land a job with a top Belfast law firm this week, after thorough background checks into his CV failed...
Sportsman Rory McIlroy still has more ‘money than God’ according to a leading finance expert. The Holywood golfer went to court in Dublin yesterday, where he settled with his former agents for an undisclosed amount, rumoured to be at least...
Cash strapped public transport operator, Translink, have reiterated their commitment to sorting out their ongoing financial problems by appointing a new Chief Executive on a bargain salary of just £156,000 per year. Translink say the new incoming boss was the 'natural choice' for the top job after a...
The Arts Council’s recent ‘13p for The Arts’ campaign was not a hit amongst local kids according to parents. The campaign, which asked Ulster residents questions such as ‘What else would you buy for 13p?’, aimed to educate the...
The Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg has appealed to the entire population of Northern Ireland to stop trying to sell all their tat on his social media site. Speaking from his holiday caravan in Ballywalter, Zuckerberg told the Ulster Fry, "It's...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...