Shares on the Craic Exchange have taken a tumble as the combination of the EU Referendum and Northern Ireland and the Republic's exits from Euro 2016 took its toll on the markets. The FTSE Craic Index was buoyant on Thursday,...
Northern Ireland's bosses have finally agreed that the weather's too good to be indoors and we can all take our work outside today. "It's gone way beyond a quare hate and is approaching clean swelterin'," said Will Close, from the Confederation of...
Police made several arrests this morning following the theft of a number of items from the Lurgan branch of Xtravision. Thieves broke into the store on Wednesday evening and stole over 100 DVDs from the 'bargain bucket', a haul estimated to be worth in...
Online dating app Tinder dropped £500m on the global stock markets yesterday following news that it's no longer the best way to find monsters near you. Nintendo's Pokemon Go game has been a worldwide phenomenon since it's release, with revolutionary technology that enables people to...
After decades of taunting from people who angrily quit work, one local boss has finally made good on an age-old parting suggestion and literally stuck his job up his arse. "It started like any other shift" explained Chuck McNugget from Belfast Fried Chicken. "Kayleigh was on the tills...
Millions of people took selfies of themselves looking 'delighted' today after Facebook announced that their newsfeed system would be changing to show more stories about everyone's new favourite topic - themselves. "Our users have complained that our current newsfeed shows too much stuff that they're not interested in" said Mark Zuckerberg...
The world’s economy has been thrown into chaos this week, after news emerged that human excrement could now be mined for precious metals, including gold, silver and platinum. Scientists in Denver shocked the world on Monday, when they claimed that...
There was much hissing and jeering from travelling fans yesterday, after news that Belfast City Council had invented some lame excuse to monopolise car parking at George Best City Airport and put a cheaper parking alternative out of business. "We're delighted to find a...
An article released today by satirical website the Ulster Fry is reportedly costing Northern Ireland employers 'a clean fortune', as lazy-arsed employees read it whilst pretending to busy. "Aye I'm supposed to be doing something in a spreadsheet or some...
With yet more technical difficulties striking their services today, Ulster Bank chiefs have confirmed that they are set to convert their holdings into a chain of bookies, in an effort to improve the chances of actually making a cash withdrawal...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...