Online dating app Tinder dropped £500m on the global stock markets yesterday following news that it's no longer the best way to find monsters near you. Nintendo's Pokemon Go game has been a worldwide phenomenon since it's release, with revolutionary technology that enables people to...
Millions of people took selfies of themselves looking 'delighted' today after Facebook announced that their newsfeed system would be changing to show more stories about everyone's new favourite topic - themselves. "Our users have complained that our current newsfeed shows too much stuff that they're not interested in" said Mark Zuckerberg...
After decades of taunting from people who angrily quit work, one local boss has finally made good on an age-old parting suggestion and literally stuck his job up his arse. "It started like any other shift" explained Chuck McNugget from Belfast Fried Chicken. "Kayleigh was on the tills...
The world’s economy has been thrown into chaos this week, after news emerged that human excrement could now be mined for precious metals, including gold, silver and platinum. Scientists in Denver shocked the world on Monday, when they claimed that...
An article released today by satirical website the Ulster Fry is reportedly costing Northern Ireland employers 'a clean fortune', as lazy-arsed employees read it whilst pretending to busy. "Aye I'm supposed to be doing something in a spreadsheet or some...
There was much hissing and jeering from travelling fans yesterday, after news that Belfast City Council had invented some lame excuse to monopolise car parking at George Best City Airport and put a cheaper parking alternative out of business. "We're delighted to find a...
Employers across the globe have been alerted to a worldwide job application scam, with millions of people everywhere claiming to have qualifications from fictional academic institutions. Antrim man Kevin Spratt failed to land a job with a top Belfast law firm this week, after thorough background checks into his CV failed...
Consumer groups have expressed concern that the various religious denominations around the country are "likely to stick the arm in" if they start doing drive-in church services. "Many mechanics can't operate fully due...
Cash strapped public transport operator, Translink, have reiterated their commitment to sorting out their ongoing financial problems by appointing a new Chief Executive on a bargain salary of just £156,000 per year. Translink say the new incoming boss was the 'natural choice' for the top job after a...
The Arts Council’s recent ‘13p for The Arts’ campaign was not a hit amongst local kids according to parents. The campaign, which asked Ulster residents questions such as ‘What else would you buy for 13p?’, aimed to educate the...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...