A leading scientist has warned time is running out to lose enough weight before Christmas to successfully avoid clothes shopping in Jacamo and Evans in the January sales. "According to my calculations, Christmas is now only six week away" explained...
Nearly 100 people have been hospitalised in Belfast due to injuries caused by massive golf umbrellas in the past two days, The Ulster Fry has learned. With injuries ranging from minor cuts right through to fully poked out eyes, the...
Despite being sick to the back teeth of one another, people who already spend too much time breathing the same air are heading out for dinner this evening - all at the same time - the Ulster Fry has...
A driver who was kindly ‘flashed’ by an another road user at a junction to allow them to join traffic is set to take their f**king time about it, the Ulster Fry has learned. “I like to ponder the meaning...
There were wild Celebrations in a Belfast accountancy firm today after local clerk Robert Basset opened his lunch to reveal a sandwich filled with Quality Street chocolates. "I was gonna dump the pile of leftover junk food so we could...
Going back to work after Christmas is definitely the worst "going back to work" of them all, especially if you did something illegal and/or involving your arse making an appearance during "last day drinks". Here's a few topics you...
Men couldn't wait for Christmas to be over so they could take all the packaging everyone had left at their arse to the dump, it has emerged. “Going to the dump is the best part of Christmas!” revealed 35 year...
It's the same every year, you've only finished the Halloween sweets then suddenly you're running around getting presents for half the country and promising to get a wee pint with the other half. We all like to repeat stuff...
With temperatures hitting 'baltic' in recent days, local shoppers have begun their annual winter ritual of purchasing brand new hats, scarves and gloves to leave at their arse somewhere within the next fortnight, the Ulster Fry has learned. "It would...
We can expect extreme conditions over the coming months as Northern Ireland prepares for some of the most exaggerated weather since local newspaper records began. Temperatures are set to plummet to minus 15/soar into the high-20s as cold/warm winds bring...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...