Yesterday we learned that former Friends actress Courtney Cox sometimes struggles with the accent of her Northern Irish boyfriend, Johnny McDaid from Snow Patrol. We thought we'd help her out, so here's a few words she might think she recognises, that...
With the summer fast approaching, Belfast's hipster-led social scene is set to grow even bigger - with the opening of the world's first 'Beard Garden'.  Whilst the new outdoor area is still under construction, local pub tycoon and hotelier Will Ballsy told us that his new...
The Irish Emergency Dental Hotline confirmed this morning that an estimated 11,500 kids were suffering toothaches and needed emergency fillings today, but as yet 'no one had been in contact' to make any appointments. "I swear de God son, I'll phone in...
A 36 year old Co. Derry man turned himself into police this evening after what authorities have described as a "catastrophic failure" to successfully urinate a shite stain from his lavatory. Gerald Weetabix, a self-employed taxi passenger from Dungiven, had been sent...
Belfast Fashion Week is underway again, providing local and international designers with an opportunity to showcase their wares, and to predict the styles that everyone will be wearing next marching season. "Belfast people are very fashion conscious," says Italian designer...
Disciples of the hallowed Crisp Sandwich have spoken of their ‘pure torture’ during the 40 days of Lent, after giving up something they love until Easter. Andrew McMenamin from Simply Crispy, the world’s first Crisp Sandwich cafe told us “Yeah you can see the pain...
The Northern Ireland Retailers Association has announced that Belfast has officially sold out of all red things after local men suddenly realised that it is Valentine's day tomorrow. "We believe that men have been vaguely planning ahead by getting stuff in today...
The Northern Ireland branch of the Overweight Cats Alliance has hit out at what they describe as "grotesque stereotypes" of their membership in some sections of the media. In a tersely worded statement, the hefty felines condemned the usage of...
After You Tube moved to ban X rated films that have been disguised using Irish Language titles, it has been revealed that desperate porn producers have turned instead to Ulster Scots in an effort to peddle their wares. Avid users must now search for terms such...
There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Ballymena last night, after it emerged that a production of Richard Strauss's opera Salome at the Grand Opera House may feature up to 10 seconds of bare bum. The scandal came to...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...