The Northern Ireland Retailers Association has announced that Belfast has officially sold out of all red things after local men suddenly realised that it is Valentine's day tomorrow. "We believe that men have been vaguely planning ahead by getting stuff in today...
The Northern Ireland branch of the Overweight Cats Alliance has hit out at what they describe as "grotesque stereotypes" of their membership in some sections of the media. In a tersely worded statement, the hefty felines condemned the usage of...
After You Tube moved to ban X rated films that have been disguised using Irish Language titles, it has been revealed that desperate porn producers have turned instead to Ulster Scots in an effort to peddle their wares. Avid users must now search for terms such...
There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Ballymena last night, after it emerged that a production of Richard Strauss's opera Salome at the Grand Opera House may feature up to 10 seconds of bare bum. The scandal came to...
The classic playground Limerick "Old King Billy had a ten foot willy" has been voted Northern Ireland's favourite poem in a survey conducted by the University of East Strabane. The meaning of the rhyme - which reads "Old King Billy had...
A new restaurant is aiming to give a trendy makeover to that staple of the Northern Irish dinner table - the humble crisp sandwich. Inspired by the 'Cereal Cafe' recently opened in London by two Belfast brothers, restaurateur Gavin Spleen hopes...
The HM Passport Office has confirmed they will be relaxing photo regulations in 2015, to allow the controversial facial expression ‘duckface’. The popular pose was recently revealed to be the main cause of ongoing passport delays and backlogs, forcing...
It was Black Eye Friday last night, an evening notorious for festive debauchery as hundreds of 'staff dos' filled pubs and clubs up and down the country. Many of our readers will have woken up this morning with only...
People across the Province woke up with nothing to say to each other today, after a recent YouGov Poll discovered that 98% of NI were actually ‘all set for Christmas’ – thus rendering 117% of December's conversations null and...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...