Following the jubilant scenes of joy and celebration amongst Irish gay couples yesterday, it was back to porridge for straight men today, after everyone's wives & girlfriends unanimously decided that Sweden's Eurovision win was 'a good excuse to hit IKEA'. Across the...
A new report by the NI Department of Employment has sensationally claimed that 'Today is Monday'. The shocking new revelation is based on the findings of top government analysts, who have secretly been studying the lifestyle patterns of Northern...
A report released today by the University of Moneyslane sensationally claims that there has been a marked decline in the quality of dogs over the last few decades. Professor Jack Russell, of the university's Canine Law department says that their...
With the latest weather forecast indicating it would 'founder ye', the Ulster Fry has learned that one local couple intend to spend their Saturday evening agonising over a takeaway menu for ages - before ordering the same shite they always get. The couple who claim they 'fancy a wee...
A study commissioned by the University of Lurgan has come to the conclusion that the standard of basic manners in Northern Ireland has slipped to 'unacceptable levels'. "We've spent months on the the survey," explains Dr Henry Doorholder or the...
Yesterday we learned that former Friends actress Courtney Cox sometimes struggles with the accent of her Northern Irish boyfriend, Johnny McDaid from Snow Patrol. We thought we'd help her out, so here's a few words she might think she recognises, that...
With the summer fast approaching, Belfast's hipster-led social scene is set to grow even bigger - with the opening of the world's first 'Beard Garden'.  Whilst the new outdoor area is still under construction, local pub tycoon and hotelier Will Ballsy told us that his new...
The Irish Emergency Dental Hotline confirmed this morning that an estimated 11,500 kids were suffering toothaches and needed emergency fillings today, but as yet 'no one had been in contact' to make any appointments. "I swear de God son, I'll phone in...
A 36 year old Co. Derry man turned himself into police this evening after what authorities have described as a "catastrophic failure" to successfully urinate a shite stain from his lavatory. Gerald Weetabix, a self-employed taxi passenger from Dungiven, had been sent...
Belfast Fashion Week is underway again, providing local and international designers with an opportunity to showcase their wares, and to predict the styles that everyone will be wearing next marching season. "Belfast people are very fashion conscious," says Italian designer...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...