With the good weather finally allowing us to shed our winter clothes, middle aged men up and down the country are complaining of being "treated like pieces of meat" by younger women, according to a report released today. Commissioned by...
A local man who possesses a convertible sports car is being "a complete dick" according to everyone who knows him. The unnamed man has apparently been waiting for months for good weather so he can finally take the roof down...
With families still finding it tough to make ends meet financially, a recent survey has revealed that doing a wash has become so ridiculously expensive that many mums are now forced to buy new clothes from Primark instead. "Have you seen the...
With the NI fitness industry enjoying a record boom period, a report out today by the Ministry of Insecurity has revealed that over two-thirds of Ulster's gym members live in constant fear of being mistaken for a chav - either before or after a...
As part of continued efforts to improve the quality of your newsfeed, Facebook this morning announced that today was the ‘last opportunity’ for people who were recently drunk to post a dull hangover status update for free. As of next...
Following the jubilant scenes of joy and celebration amongst Irish gay couples yesterday, it was back to porridge for straight men today, after everyone's wives & girlfriends unanimously decided that Sweden's Eurovision win was 'a good excuse to hit IKEA'. Across the...
A new report by the NI Department of Employment has sensationally claimed that 'Today is Monday'. The shocking new revelation is based on the findings of top government analysts, who have secretly been studying the lifestyle patterns of Northern...
A report released today by the University of Moneyslane sensationally claims that there has been a marked decline in the quality of dogs over the last few decades. Professor Jack Russell, of the university's Canine Law department says that their...
With the latest weather forecast indicating it would 'founder ye', the Ulster Fry has learned that one local couple intend to spend their Saturday evening agonising over a takeaway menu for ages - before ordering the same shite they always get. The couple who claim they 'fancy a wee...
A study commissioned by the University of Lurgan has come to the conclusion that the standard of basic manners in Northern Ireland has slipped to 'unacceptable levels'. "We've spent months on the the survey," explains Dr Henry Doorholder or the...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...