A survey which claims that Northern Irish people are the happiest in the UK is a complete fabrication, experts at the Office of National Statistics people have revealed. People here scored highest when asked about their  happiness and satisfaction, but Chief...
Nearly 100 people have been hospitalised in Belfast due to injuries caused by massive golf umbrellas in the past two days, The Ulster Fry has learned. With injuries ranging from minor cuts right through to fully poked out eyes, the...
The entire adult population of Northern Ireland are 'basically full of shite' according to a new report out today by the Department of Statistics, Planning and Roadworks. The study, which looked closely at people's behaviour in the run up to...
The entire population of Northern Ireland fully intends to ignore the new, more stringent, alcohol limits unveiled by the Department of Health today, a survey made up by The Ulster Fry has revealed. According to the new guidelines both men...
After decades of making covers for books that already had covers in the first place, society today had a moment of collective reflection and asked itself 'Seriously, what the feck are we playing at?' Local father Jim Edco from Newry...
With the NI fitness industry enjoying a record boom period, a report out today by the Ministry of Insecurity has revealed that over two-thirds of Ulster's gym members live in constant fear of being mistaken for a chav - either before or after a...
Tesco has sensationally joined the Ashers 'Gay Cake' debate by announcing that in future it will only sell 'straight croissants'. The supermarket giant claims that it is bowing to customer demand, saying that homophobic shoppers are unable to cope with...
Christmas dinner was ‘lovely’ and everyone is now ‘totally stuffed’ according to official Facebook stats released moments ago. The popular social media network, which has been helping dinner tables stay connected for over a decade now, revealed that Christmas 2015...
The iconic DeLorean sports car is making a comeback after more than 30 years. Sadly, this time it's being built in the USA rather than in Dunmurry, but it got us to thinking whether there's any other 1980s things...
Everyone has a name whether it's a nice one or something so embarrassing it causes you to change it by deed poll. They say teachers can never name a baby because all the arseholes they've taught have ruined the...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...