Thousands of parents across the UK and Ireland are naming their newborns after a controversial online movie streaming app, it has emerged. "'Kodi' is just such a gorgeous name!" revealed new mother Anne Droid from Belfast. "And cos it suits both sexes we didn't...
The Derry accent is the sexiest in Ireland, according to a new poll successfully rigged by people from Derry. It seems that the poll, conducted by the website lovin.ie, initially saw a strong showing for the Dublin, Donegal and Fermanagh...
Disciples of the hallowed Crisp Sandwich have spoken of their ‘pure torture’ during the 40 days of Lent, after giving up something they love until Easter. Andrew McMenamin from Simply Crispy, the world’s first Crisp Sandwich cafe told us “Yeah you can see the pain...
A 36 year old Co. Derry man turned himself into police this evening after what authorities have described as a "catastrophic failure" to successfully urinate a shite stain from his lavatory. Gerald Weetabix, a self-employed taxi passenger from Dungiven, had been sent...
Social media giant Facebook unveiled a new range of buttons today, finally allowing its users to express emotions beyond a simple 'like'. The new symbols - Love, Angry, Sad, Haha and Wow - appear when you hold like down on a...
Once again The Ulster Fry consumer experts have been out scouring the shops for the best gifts available. There's something for everyone here.... Hipster Action Man With realistic beard and an extravagant collection of tattoos, Hipster Action Man is the ultimate...
In a last minute effort to entice working class voters ahead of various elections on May 5th, the Tories have announced that all Sundays prior to bank holidays, such as today, are being officially designated for going on the...
People across the Province let out a collective "ye wha?" today after Northern Ireland was declared the 'happiest place in the UK' by a well-being survey. "Ye sure it wasn't a survey of unwell-beings?" joked Tyrone resident Carol Gas. "Sure you canny even get a decent phone...
A report released today by the Department of Social Development has revealed that a staggering 84% of households in Northern Ireland still have at least one leftover Christmas decoration lurking - a full 9 months after the holiday. The study, carried...
After You Tube moved to ban X rated films that have been disguised using Irish Language titles, it has been revealed that desperate porn producers have turned instead to Ulster Scots in an effort to peddle their wares. Avid users must now search for terms such...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...