Following the jubilant scenes of joy and celebration amongst Irish gay couples yesterday, it was back to porridge for straight men today, after everyone's wives & girlfriends unanimously decided that Sweden's Eurovision win was 'a good excuse to hit IKEA'. Across the...
With domestic spiders reaching mammoth proportions, the Tories have had the worrying realisation that millions of gigantic insects will soon qualify for housing benefit under their recent welfare reforms. "At first we thought, brilliant, they are big & ugly enough...
Last week's we gave you a list of Catholic phrases that no self-respecting Protestant would ever use, and promised you an 'other-ways-round' version. This is it. "The Mainland": When referring to England, Scotland and Wales. The only Catholics who refer to...
There have been a lot of handy guides for tourists on social media recently, telling them the Top 10 eateries, bars, or attractions in Northern Ireland, but here at the Ulster Fry we think they've been missing out on...
Local fathers were united in their praise of their offspring today, after children across the country turned up at the family home this morning with a piece of cardboard inside an envelope. "I felt like I was announcing the Oscars" revealed 57 year old father...
After a miserable weekend during which the weather only ever stopped raining to go for a pish, a new report from the Department of Meh has revealed that 82% of the population are currently looking forward to getting home and into...
A 36 year old Co. Derry man turned himself into police this evening after what authorities have described as a "catastrophic failure" to successfully urinate a shite stain from his lavatory. Gerald Weetabix, a self-employed taxi passenger from Dungiven, had been sent...
A thirty four year old Dungiven man has opened his soul to the Ulster Fry, revealing the living hell that the circumstances of his birth created. Joel McCafferty is tired of being hounded for not closing doors behind him. We...
After You Tube moved to ban X rated films that have been disguised using Irish Language titles, it has been revealed that desperate porn producers have turned instead to Ulster Scots in an effort to peddle their wares. Avid users must now search for terms such...
Men can't wait to open their 'surprise' Christmas presents it has been revealed - as stocks of stuff other people left at their arse in the bathroom run dangerously low across the country. "I've been fixing my hair with with the wife's mousse since Halloween" admitted Newry builder, Jim Trowel....

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...