A County Armagh man has been stripped of all benefit entitlements after ignoring repeated warnings about wearing his coat indoors. It is understood that government inspectors spotted 43-year-old James Barbour wearing a Parka jacket whilst watching television at 11am this...
Protestants and Catholics actually 'get along grand' claims an undercover investigator, who says community tensions in NI are perpetuated by a team of voice actors who phone into radio stations to make bigoted rants. "We've discovered a group of actors...
A 45-year-old office worker from County Antrim has been dismissed from his job after repeatedly wearing socks with Saturday and Sunday on them during the week. It is understood that Broughshane man Gilbert Sole used the ploy to allow him...
Following the removal of sexy promotional girls from high profile events including Formula 1, darts and road racing, the Northern Ireland Parades Commission have announced they're banning provocatively dressed ladies from all future parades. "For too long now crowds at...
Northern Ireland is well on the way to becoming the world's largest pothole, a major international conference was told today. Addressing the World Holeiologist Society, Professor Gar MacAdam told his fellow experts that a lack of roads investment "combined with...
Police have launched a major investigation after thieves made off with sweets valued at over £35 million from the Belfast Continental Market Pick and Mix stall. The officers believe that a "highly sophisticated group of criminals" carried out the audacious...
Holywood was controversially awarded the coveted Golden Hole trophy at a lavish ceremony in the Europa Hotel today, leading to allegations of corruption from defeated rivals Bangor. The town was languishing in third place behind its larger neighbour and shock...
The PSNI had launched a 'major sting operation' targeted against alarm clocks and similar devices. "These items cause untold misery on a daily basis," we were told by Sergeant Tim Peace from the PSNI's Clock Squad. "Hopefully this will go some way...
Arseholes across Northern Ireland are preparing for their traditional "Festival of Shite", an annual event which sees them emerge from their houses at night to let off fireworks randomly in towns and villages. Arseholes have a long and proud history...
Following an angry reaction to news that a recruitment drive would focus on the LGBT community, the PSNI's top brass have relented and confirmed that they would try to hire loads of homophobes to redress the balance. The news had brought the expected objections on...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...