The Northern Ireland team has returned home victorious from the World Taking Offence at Stuff Championships, held this week in Tokyo, China. The sport involves teams being shown images, text and film which is generally considered innocuous, but in which...
You might have noticed that there's a massive match at Windsor Park this evening, with Germany taking on Northern Ireland. It'll be a big test for a squad of relative unknowns drawn from some of Europe's less glamorous teams, as they face some...
With both Northern Ireland and the Republic exiting the World Cup at the final hurdle, the IFA and FAI have finally got together and agreed to hold their own "All Ireland" tournament next year. It is understood that the associations...
A group of local men who went to the pub to watch the Champions League final are set for an extremely awkward taxi journey home it has emerged, after a deranged taxi driver revealed he has 'zero interest' in...
The world football authorities have admitted that their massively complicated second place play-off formula was specifically designed to ensure that the two teams in Ireland wouldn't meet at any point. "It was OK when Northern Ireland was vaguely shit," says Hans...
Patriotic local golf fans got an unexpected new hero at this week's Irish Open, after historians discovered that US golfer Graeme McDowell's ancestors are actually from the County Antrim town of Portrush. "Well gee-whiz that's fantastic!" McDowell told local press. "My grandpappy used to tell us...
Boxing fans are licking their remote controls in anticipation today, after two of Northern Ireland's most irritating radio personalities, Stephen “Troller” Nolan and Hugo “Strabane Slammer” Duncan, agreed to bax the jaws aff each other for Children in Need. The...
As always, the first weekend in May will see Belfast grind to halt as the city plays host to the annual Buckfast Marathon. The much-famed piss up will be held over a three-day period and is regarded by many competitive...
Thousands of football fans across Northern Ireland find themselves in a severe quandary today as their two favourite sides prepare to meet in a Champions League qualifying match. "There's a real cross-over in the fan-base of both clubs," we were told by...
Employers are bracing themselves amid concerns that a mystery virus may sweep through much of Northern Ireland’s male workforce tonight. According to experts the illness, which has been dubbed ‘Greek Influenza’, could hit Belfast at approximately 9.30pm this evening, provided Northern Ireland don't make a ballix of...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...