Following his defeat at the hands of Nate Diaz, executives at lads website JOE had an emergency meeting this morning to discuss the possibility of writing an article that isn't about the bearded Irish UFC fighter, Conor McGregor. "How about we do...
Everyone is looking forward to settling down and watching the normal shite that television channels spew out, after two solid weeks of watching annoyingly talented, healthy young people doing sport. According to the University of Craigavon, Olympic fatigue began to...
After years of turning up at star-studded events carrying massive wads of cash, Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are finally set to open current accounts following their half-billion dollar bout, the Ulster Fry has learned. "I'm sick of keeping all my...
You might have noticed that there's a massive match at Windsor Park this evening, with Germany taking on Northern Ireland. It'll be a big test for a squad of relative unknowns drawn from some of Europe's less glamorous teams, as they face some...
As the FIFA corruption scandal rumbles on, the Irish Football Association has offered to spare the governing body's blushes and take over from Qatar as hosts of the 2022 World Cup. "The Qatar bid has been riddled with problems from...
Employers are bracing themselves amid concerns that a mystery virus may sweep through much of Northern Ireland’s male workforce tonight. According to experts the illness, which has been dubbed ‘Greek Influenza’, could hit Belfast at approximately 9.30pm this evening, provided Northern Ireland don't make a ballix of...
Today's Belfast Marathon was sensationally hijacked by the local elections, after the country's main political parties began rerouting runners to support their own agenda. The furore began this morning at around 9.15am, as the first of the 17,000 runners made...
Following his arrest yesterday, during which it appears US police dragged him backwards through a hedge, sources close to golfer Tiger Woods claim he's been 'on the lash' since Rory McIllroy's stag do in Magaluf. "He'd literally just landed home!" revealed close pal,...
Rory McIlroy and fellow linguist Graeme McDowell have once again developed new accents after spending yesterday afternoon at Dundonald’s luxurious Pirate Golf complex. The formerly American-sounding Ulstermen noticed their voices had started to change as they approached the 18th hole of Blackbeard’s...
Despite attending the gym regularly and being in what one fitness expert called 'good nick', 28 year old Latspread McCafferty has shocked the fitness world today by announcing that he will not be competing in a bodybuilding competition this summer. The bizarre decision has sparked panic...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...