Europe's top football clubs have made shock transfer swoops for some of the biggest names in Northern Irish politics, after an SNP politician claimed that our MPs "are worth more than Ronaldo". Spanish giants Real Madrid made the first move,...
Thousands of rugby fans around the globe have been hospitalised this evening after England sensationally crashed out of the world cup, following a 33-13 defeat by a Bernard Foley inspired Australia. The crisis began within seconds of the final whistle, in...
Bookmakers have suspended all betting on Steven Gerrard's next club amid rumours that the Liverpool captain has already agreed terms with local side Lisburn Distillery. The move came after Gerrard was spotted getting off the 238 Goldliner at Sprucefield, before climbing...
"Everything was against us," said a furious Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal last night after what he described as "a very disappointing performance." His angry reaction followed a visit to his granddaughter Famke's nursery school, where the Dutchman watched sternly from the...
The people of Hillsborough are celebrating this evening after their town scooped the coveted Town Most up its Own Hole trophy for the first time in five years. The competition had a new format this year, with hopefuls from around...
Despite attending the gym regularly and being in what one fitness expert called 'good nick', 28 year old Latspread McCafferty has shocked the fitness world today by announcing that he will not be competing in a bodybuilding competition this summer. The bizarre decision has sparked panic...
After another unsuccessful round of matches for most English teams in the Champions League, football chiefs have announced the launch of a new European trophy - exclusively for teams based in England. The plan was revealed this morning by FA...
An estimated 28% of the male working population phoned in sick yesterday after what health experts have described as an "alcohol fuelled catastrophe of almost Biblical proportions." "The alignment of the end of the Dryathlon and American Football's Superbowl event created a...
After leaking info about high profile athletes Chris Froome, Bradley Wiggins & Mo Farah in recent days, Russian hackers have now released data showing what substances Irish athletes were taking during the Rio Olympics. "Some of the stuff the Irish team were on would...
The Northern Ireland team has returned home victorious from the World Taking Offence at Stuff Championships, held this week in Tokyo, China. The sport involves teams being shown images, text and film which is generally considered innocuous, but in which...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...