Sport

Free Presbyterians took to the streets around Windsor Park today to protest as Northern Ireland earned three unholy vital points that took them closer to qualification for the European Championships. Speaking before the match, the Reverend David McIlspleen condemned what...

The world football authorities have admitted that their massively complicated second place play-off formula was specifically designed to ensure that the two teams in Ireland wouldn't meet at any point. "It was OK when Northern Ireland was vaguely shit," says Hans...

Avid football fanatic Fifa O'Donnell has spoken his 'joy' today, after being reunited with two long lost children whom his wife claims he hasn't seen in almost 10 months. "Auch it's brilliant to see them!" said a tearful Fifa to local reporters....

Fans of ultra-realistic console gaming were overjoyed today, after game developer, Electronic Arts, announced that the next FIFA game would include a revolutionary new ‘bribe’ system, allowing gamers to magically host football tournaments anywhere they wanted. Players on both Playstation...

In the light of the controversial decision to omit prominent Northern Irish sports people like Carl Frampton, Jonathan Rea, Bethany Firth and Jackie Fullerton from the Sports Personality shortlist this year, BBC Executives have confirmed that in future the...

Sofas are said to be in a "high state of readiness" as their owners prepare for the Euro 2016 group matches involving Northern Ireland and the Republic. "Normally, for tournaments like this, we expect to see an increase in the...

After announcing his intention to dominate multiple weight categories of the UFC - and then offering to fight Floyd Mayweather in a boxing match, Irish fighter Conor McGregor has revealed plans to compete in the new season of Robot Wars. The BBC announced the return of the classic show...

Rory McIlroy and fellow linguist Graeme McDowell have once again developed new accents after spending yesterday afternoon at Dundonald’s luxurious Pirate Golf complex. The formerly American-sounding Ulstermen noticed their voices had started to change as they approached the 18th hole of Blackbeard’s...

After a spate of disappointing performances in recent golf tournaments which culminated in not making the cut at the Irish Open yesterday, sources close to Rory McIllroy have revealed that the Holywood man is determined to regain his form 'by any means necessary'. Buoyed the famous boost in...

Animal welfare charities are fearful that small children everywhere will be demanding dancing horses this Christmas, following Great Britain's Gold Medal in yesterday's dressage. Charlotte Dujardin, which is French for something to do with gardens, scooped top spot whilst sitting...