Sport

Today's Belfast Marathon was sensationally hijacked by the local elections, after the country's main political parties began rerouting runners to support their own agenda. The furore began this morning at around 9.15am, as the first of the 17,000 runners made...

After another heart-stopping evening's football at Windsor Park, it has become clear that the Northern Ireland football team are determined to take qualification for Euro 2016 right to the wire. A hard fought draw against Hungary last night leaves them...

Astronomers have warned that the sudden alignment of three major Irish sporting planets could have far reaching consequences for the rest of the galaxy. "Occasionally we see the two Irish football worlds align on the same day" explained Professor Russell Grant from Armagh Planetarium....

Liverpool are on the lookout for a new disappointing manager after finally running out of excuses not to sack Brendan Rodgers. Liverpool owner John W. Henry told the Ulster Fry that that today's hard fought draw against Everton was the...

With it looking increasingly likely that his country's entire team may be banned from competing at the Rio Olympics due to systematic misuse of banned substances, Russian President Vladimir Putin has announced that Moscow will host its own event -...

Rioting has broken out in North Down this morning, as anger over the results of last night's BBC Sports Personality Of The Year result spilled over into violence. The trouble flared after racing driver Lewis Hamilton pipped local boy Rory...

Everyone is looking forward to settling down and watching the normal shite that television channels spew out, after two solid weeks of watching annoyingly talented, healthy young people doing sport. According to the University of Craigavon, Olympic fatigue began to...

Having spent most of last season impressing the club’s medical staff with his never say die attitude to missing football matches, doctors and physios at West Ham United have been left reeling after a medical scan on the player...

There was anger amongst local homophobes today, as thousands of men dressed in skin-tight leather outfits descended upon Portrush to shove motorised contraptions between their arse cheeks and chase each other around the town. "We cannot stand idly by whilst our beautiful north coast is overrun by leather-clad men...

Thousands of people who completed a small section of today's Belfast Marathon were left even more red-faced today after Belfast City Council officially branded their category the "Fun-Sized Marathon". The move has created major embarrassment for lots of these entrants, many of whom have been feverishly...