The Northern Ireland team has returned home victorious from the World Taking Offence at Stuff Championships, held this week in Tokyo, China. The sport involves teams being shown images, text and film which is generally considered innocuous, but in which...
Despite attending the gym regularly and being in what one fitness expert called 'good nick', 28 year old Latspread McCafferty has shocked the fitness world today by announcing that he will not be competing in a bodybuilding competition this summer. The bizarre decision has sparked panic...
Astronomers have warned that the sudden alignment of three major Irish sporting planets could have far reaching consequences for the rest of the galaxy. "Occasionally we see the two Irish football worlds align on the same day" explained Professor Russell Grant from Armagh Planetarium....
Tony McCoy may have scooped a knighthood and Carl Frampton an MBE, but there will be dismay in Northern Irish sporting circles as it becomes clear which of our local heroes had been overlooked for New Year's Honours. Former...
Just days before of their hugely anticipated Las Vegas prize fight, the Ulster Fry has learned that boxing rivals Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao are not only fighting for their pride and hundreds of millions in prize money - but also the...
Following their double exit from Euro 2016, it has just emerged that dozens of stranded Republic and Northern Ireland fans, most of whom ran out of money weeks ago, have setup a new colony in the south of France. "I haven't a...
With the Irish Open underway at Royal County Down, golfing commentators across the globe have been stunned by the sudden expertise that local people have developed in the sport. "I've been following the golf since the 1970s," said 65 year old dinner...
Thousands of football fans across Northern Ireland find themselves in a severe quandary today as their two favourite sides prepare to meet in a Champions League qualifying match. "There's a real cross-over in the fan-base of both clubs," we were told by...
There was anger amongst local homophobes today, as thousands of men dressed in skin-tight leather outfits descended upon Portrush to shove motorised contraptions between their arse cheeks and chase each other around the town. "We cannot stand idly by whilst our beautiful north coast is overrun by leather-clad men...
You might have noticed that there's a massive match at Windsor Park this evening, with Germany taking on Northern Ireland. It'll be a big test for a squad of relative unknowns drawn from some of Europe's less glamorous teams, as they face some...

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