Sportsman Rory McIlroy still has more ‘money than God’ according to a leading finance expert. The Holywood golfer went to court in Dublin yesterday, where he settled with his former agents for an undisclosed amount, rumoured to be at least...
An estimated 28% of the male working population phoned in sick yesterday after what health experts have described as an "alcohol fuelled catastrophe of almost Biblical proportions." "The alignment of the end of the Dryathlon and American Football's Superbowl event created a...
One of the jewels in the crown of world football was restored to it's rightful place yesterday, after thousands of people who have hated the sight of each other for over a century, crammed into a football stadium to...
"Everything was against us," said a furious Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal last night after what he described as "a very disappointing performance." His angry reaction followed a visit to his granddaughter Famke's nursery school, where the Dutchman watched sternly from the...
Following the news that former France international David Ginola has launched an audacious bid to unseat Sepp Blatter as President of FIFA, rumours are spreading that local football chiefs are giving serious thought to fielding a candidate of their own. Although several leading...
Bookmakers have suspended all betting on Steven Gerrard's next club amid rumours that the Liverpool captain has already agreed terms with local side Lisburn Distillery. The move came after Gerrard was spotted getting off the 238 Goldliner at Sprucefield, before climbing...
Rioting has broken out in North Down this morning, as anger over the results of last night's BBC Sports Personality Of The Year result spilled over into violence. The trouble flared after racing driver Lewis Hamilton pipped local boy Rory...
Fans of ultra-realistic console gaming were overjoyed today, after game developer, Electronic Arts, announced that the next FIFA game would include a revolutionary new ‘bribe’ system, allowing gamers to magically host football tournaments anywhere they wanted. Players on both Playstation...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...