Avid football fanatic Fifa O'Donnell has spoken his 'joy' today, after being reunited with two long lost children whom his wife claims he hasn't seen in almost 10 months. "Auch it's brilliant to see them!" said a tearful Fifa to local reporters....
Organisers of the North West 200 have apologised to motorsport fans this evening, after Saturday's racing schedule was sensationally cancelled at short notice, for unexplained reasons*. However with thousands of people already pouring into Portrush for the weekend, embarrassed promoters are trying to make the best of the situation by telling people...
The Northern Ireland team has returned home victorious from the World Taking Offence at Stuff Championships, held this week in Tokyo, China. The sport involves teams being shown images, text and film which is generally considered innocuous, but in which...
Today's Belfast Marathon was sensationally hijacked by the local elections, after the country's main political parties began rerouting runners to support their own agenda. The furore began this morning at around 9.15am, as the first of the 17,000 runners made...
Just days before of their hugely anticipated Las Vegas prize fight, the Ulster Fry has learned that boxing rivals Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao are not only fighting for their pride and hundreds of millions in prize money - but also the...
Despite enjoying 71% possession yesterday against Chelsea, United returned to Manchester last night with a disappointing zero points. Football pundits shared widely varying theories on the demise afterwards, but our source at Stamford Bridge speculated that United’s failure to score...
Free Presbyterians took to the streets around Windsor Park today to protest as Northern Ireland earned three unholy vital points that took them closer to qualification for the European Championships. Speaking before the match, the Reverend David McIlspleen condemned what...
With the country already at a standstill over recent strike actions, strikers of all sorts have now announced plans to go on strike too.  It began this morning in the world of local football, as goal scorers heaped yet more misery on...
Following another crap display by the English in a sport they originally invented, the British government are inventing several new sports so that England can be number one at something again – at least until Australia or Germany get better at it. Iceland defeated...
As Belfast prepares for the Carl Frampton fight against Chris Avalos tonight, promoter Barry McGuigan has announced a major addition to the spectacle. "We've got the Tandragee Mr Tayto up against Dublin's Mr Tayto," said the former world champion, "in...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...