Prince Charles has landed himself in hot water after confessing to journalists that, joyous as it is, the birth of the new Princess is part of a plan hatched by William and Kate to climb the housing waiting list...
The Secretary-General of the United Nations Ban Ki-Moon has raised fears that the world will soon run out of plastic, because you have most of it in your kitchen. "Our inspectors have been secretly examining the homes of people in...
The world of journalism has been turned on its head amid claims that controversial Sun columnist Katie Hopkins has been secretly smuggling shite into the nation's media for years. The allegations came to light after Ms Hopkins plumbed new depths of 'journalism' with...
Following news that four new episodes of Game of Thrones were leaked online, allegations have now emerged that the Northern Irish extras used on the show are at the centre of the piracy scandal. It is believed HBO's investigators made...
A local man has fainted with fear this morning, after opening his Cadburys Easter egg - to find the face of Jesus miraculously carved on the inside of one of the shells. 45 year old Pogues McGilloway had planned to...
The Vatican has unveiled a surprising Easter Egg of their own this year, by announcing a most unexpected partnership with confectionery giant Cadbury's. In the latest of his odd liberal acts, the new ‘cool’ pontiff has, after months of planning...
The planet watched in wonder today as one of the internet’s greatest natural phenomena – the solar eclipse – spread across the screens of smart-phones, tablets and laptops everywhere. Millions of social media users gazed at the event from the safety...
Ireland’s national day of getting pissed and singing songs they only half know the words to was thrown into crisis this morning, after historians pointed out that St Patrick was in fact a Brit. “Ah f**k, I think they actually...
Dogs have officially declared themselves victorious in their evolutionary struggle with mankind, having finally persuaded most of their 'owners' to follow them round picking up their shit. "We started out getting you to bring us food and throw things for...
Following months of memes, rhymes and hilarious fake movie posters, the Dungiven Institute of Linguistics has confirmed that every possible pun combination for the term ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ has now been discovered and posted online. “After downloading the entire...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...