Ireland’s national day of getting pissed and singing songs they only half know the words to was thrown into crisis this morning, after historians pointed out that St Patrick was in fact a Brit. “Ah f**k, I think they actually...
Dogs have officially declared themselves victorious in their evolutionary struggle with mankind, having finally persuaded most of their 'owners' to follow them round picking up their shit. "We started out getting you to bring us food and throw things for...
Following months of memes, rhymes and hilarious fake movie posters, the Dungiven Institute of Linguistics has confirmed that every possible pun combination for the term ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ has now been discovered and posted online. “After downloading the entire...
There are growing fears that the crisis in the Ukraine may have spread to Northern Ireland after Russian troops began mobilising on the Carrickfergus/Larne border. There have been several sightings of military jets close to Larne airspace, and gunboats...
There are growing fears in United Nations circles that County Fermanagh may have become the latest superpower to join the exclusive club of 'nuclear weapon states.' The concerns arose following the arrest of Ballinamallard man Bernard Ford at a checkpoint...
Despite rumours that something called "payday" may be just around the corner, scientists have revealed that the 'wile long month' of January is set to continue for 'another 2-3 weeks'. The boffins jumped to action yesterday after people around the...
Stocks in Starbucks hit a three-year low this morning, following a ghastly ‘identify theft’ which left a customers life in ruins. The heartless crime took place just after 3pm yesterday, when a woman’s personalised ‘Grande’ Americano cup was stolen by...
North Korean supreme leader, Kim Jong Un has appealed to western nations for ‘immediate peace talks’, after hackers in the rogue state inadvertently found a previously unreleased episode of the 1990s Northern Irish TV series Town Challenge. The details came...
Foyle Sinn Fein MLA Finbar Ni Maceachthighearna has put the cat among the political pigeons after writing to London Mayor Boris Johnson demanding that the City of London drops the word “London” from its name. Speaking from his Donegal holiday home,...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...