The people of America have woken up with a wild hangover and a bad smell in their hallway after inadvertently getting blocked for 18 months. Across the nation families were carefully opening little plastic containers and bags which they found...
Following the launch of a video generator to remind everyone how great 2016 was, Facebook today admitted that most users are avoiding it because they 'aren't clean buck mental'. "With hindsight this was a terrible idea" admitted Facebook manager, Sharon Lyke. "Between Brexit and Trump, the deaths...
Ordinary police officers who follow orders and conduct investigations in a thorough and methodical manner are more effective than their maverick counterparts, a Department of Justice report has claimed. "For years cinema and television have portrayed successful law enforcement officers...
The Secretary-General of the United Nations Ban Ki-Moon has raised fears that the world will soon run out of plastic, because you have most of it in your kitchen. "Our inspectors have been secretly examining the homes of people in...
An exhaustive investigation by The Ulster Fry Insight Team has uncovered convincing evidence that "High Street" Christmas Clubs are secretly recruiting members for terrorist groups across the globe. The clubs, supposedly designed to allow families to save for Christmas, have...
Within minutes of last night's controversial Westminster vote to commence bombing Syria, local members of the Regional Arguments Force quickly scrambled to their sofas to launch strategic strikes on their perceived opponents - despite understanding very little about what...
Following the worldwide breaking news that two leading chocolate brands are getting recalled in 55 countries, the Ulster Fry has discovered that an embarrassing administrative error has seen millions of pairs of big lady pants arriving at Mars' European headquarters instead. "We were trying to rush out an...
There was anger across the UK yesterday after the O2 phone network suffered major connectivity issues, which a company spokesman admitted meant users in London were the same quality of service "you usually get West of the Bann." "Aye the...
As British media outlets keep the nation safe by reporting immigration problems like  terrorist attacks, the UK government has taken swift action to avoid further foreign invasion, by hiring a team of immigration specialists from abroad. "Our country is at breaking point!"...
The entire planet has been left reeling by the "Panama Papers" scandal today, after learning, reportedly for the time ever, that very wealthy people accumulate even more wealth by being sleekit bastards. The news came as a shock to ordinary working people this morning,...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...