Supporters of Ashers bakery will tuck into the most heterosexual cake of all time this evening as they celebrate the landmark Supreme Court ruling. The Ulster Fry understands that the cake will have no frosting, icing, cream or sprinkles -...
There are fears that history books may have to be rewritten after Gerry Kelly sensationally admitted that the IRA might have been a protagonist in the Troubles, although it was still all the Brits' fault. Mr Kelly was responding to...
Former DUP Spad (Special Adviser) Campbell Robinson-Williamson has very kindly agreed to join the Ulster Fry as an Agony Uncle. Here, he answers a few burning questions.... Dear Campbell, I'm a man in my mid-forties who's not very good in...
Angry MLAs have vowed to take industrial action after the Secretary of State announced that their salaries will be slashed to a meagre £36k per year. "This is scandalous," argued one Lagan Valley DUP MLA, who asked not to be...
A senior DUP politician is set to admit to murder, the Ulster Fry understands, as a twisted game of dare within the party, which sees players initiate a huge political scandal in a bid to get fired, escalates. "It all...
After DUP leader Arlene foster made an appearance at the Ulster GAA final, Northern Ireland's other party leaders have all revealed plans to ''reach out" to their traditional opponents. "If Arlene was in a Rocky movie, this'd be like a...
A new form of participatory democracy is being planned for Northern Ireland, which is hoped will finally allow us to avoid seeing Sammy Wilson continually. Under the bold scheme, the controversial Petition of Concern will be replaced with referendums on...
Plans are afoot to mark the 20th birthday of the Good Friday Agreement by holding a gigantic cross-community slagging match in the middle of a muddy field outside Lisburn. The Ulster Fry has learned that the UK government has earmarked...
Following the revelation that global election results are being coerced by nefarious social media activity, local tech startup Jordanstown Analytica have admitted they've been manipulating NI voters on Facebook too. "Our practices aren't as sophisticated as them Cambridge smartholes," admitted...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...