Wales could be ceded to the Republic of Ireland under new Brexit proposals leaked to The Ulster Fry. The news follows reports that 47% of the UK population has now applied for an Irish passport, with officials in Dublin admitting...
With a vote of no confidence set to decide the future of Theresa May later tonight, Santa Claus has piled pressure on the beleaguered PM by admitting that even he doesn't believe in her anymore. "I wrote a letter of...
UK politics looks set for further disarray after Prime Minister Theresa May decided to phone in to her line manager, the Queen, and tell her that she isn't feeling great and will be off for ''at least a couple...
Top meteorologists have revealed a new scale of windiness based on Sammy Wilson's face, that they hope will make it easier for people to understand the dangers posed by bad weather. "We've been trying to warn people about incoming storms...
Prime Minister Theresa May is to finally give up trying to sort out the Brexit shitstorm and hand control of the process to Team Typhoon from The Apprentice. "When you think about it, they're a perfect fit," says BBC political...
After reports of flashing orange lights and manic laughter from DUP headquarters, party SPADS confirmed last night that East Antrim MP Sammy Wilson had successfully created 16 copies of himself as part of a plan to defend the border...
Emergency talks were held at Stormont this morning after dissident pop band The Spice Girls (TSG) released what police describe as a 'credible warning' that they would target Belfast if the assembly is not restored. "We have firm evidence that...
Sinn Fein have dismissed suggestions that Gerry Adams promoting a cookbook supposedly inspired by the Good Friday Agreement will be hard to swallow for anyone who lived through the violence that preceded it. "Ach your arse is parsley! We've been...
Supporters of Ashers bakery will tuck into the most heterosexual cake of all time this evening as they celebrate the landmark Supreme Court ruling. The Ulster Fry understands that the cake will have no frosting, icing, cream or sprinkles -...
There are fears that history books may have to be rewritten after Gerry Kelly sensationally admitted that the IRA might have been a protagonist in the Troubles, although it was still all the Brits' fault. Mr Kelly was responding to...

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