The stalemate in Northern Irish politics could sensationally be broken by midnight tonight, after an audacious plan emerged to recruit new MLAs on footballs transfer market. "Arlene and Michelle have been disastrous for us upfront." revealed Stormont spokesman, George Worst....
After years of turning up at star-studded events carrying massive wads of cash, Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are finally set to open current accounts following their half-billion dollar bout, the Ulster Fry has learned. "I'm sick of keeping all my...
Thousands of football fans across Northern Ireland find themselves in a severe quandary today as their two favourite sides prepare to meet in a Champions League qualifying match. "There's a real cross-over in the fan-base of both clubs," we were told by...
Thousands of football fans across Northern Ireland find themselves in a severe quandary today as their two favourite sides prepare to meet in a Champions League qualifying match. "There's a real cross-over in the fan-base of both clubs," we were...
Patriotic local golf fans got an unexpected new hero at this week's Irish Open, after historians discovered that US golfer Graeme McDowell's ancestors are actually from the County Antrim town of Portrush. "Well gee-whiz that's fantastic!" McDowell told local press. "My grandpappy used to tell us...
Europe's top football clubs have made shock transfer swoops for some of the biggest names in Northern Irish politics, after an SNP politician claimed that our MPs "are worth more than Ronaldo". Spanish giants Real Madrid made the first move,...
Mixed Martial Underpants fighter Conor McGregor is to accidentally fight UK Prime Minister Theresa May as a result of a printing error in the contract. The Ulster Fry understands that the agreement that Mr McGregor would "fight Mayweather, subject to...
Following his arrest yesterday, during which it appears US police dragged him backwards through a hedge, sources close to golfer Tiger Woods claim he's been 'on the lash' since Rory McIllroy's stag do in Magaluf. "He'd literally just landed home!" revealed close pal,...
There was anger amongst local homophobes today, as thousands of men dressed in skin-tight leather outfits descended upon Portrush to shove motorised contraptions between their arse cheeks and chase each other around the town. "We cannot stand idly by whilst our beautiful north coast is overrun by leather-clad men...
Thousands of people who completed a small section of today's Belfast Marathon were left even more red-faced today after Belfast City Council officially branded their category the "Fun-Sized Marathon". The move has created major embarrassment for lots of these entrants, many of whom have been feverishly...

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