The share price of Mike Ashley's retail empire sensationally fell by £1bn over the weekend, marking the end of an era for sportswear as the favourite clothing choice for chavs & spides everywhere. "Sadly the only people buying sportswear these days actually want to do sports!" said group spokesman Shelley...
With Northern Ireland in the middle of the post-Christmas wind down, experts at one of our top universities have raised fears that no-one will remember when they have to return to work. The researchers estimate that 76% of the population is now in a...
Amid rumours that the next Star Wars film will be partly filmed on the dank, inhospitable planet of Lisburn, the Northern Ireland economy received a further boost after it was revealed that Harland and Wolff shipyard will build the...
Following the news that global taxi chain Uber is coming to Belfast, we can exclusively reveal that FonaCab and ValueCabs are joining forces to develop a rival app offering services tailored to the local passenger. "Aye Uber is grand if...
People who enjoy new dining experiences excitedly stood in a very long queue yesterday, to give all their money to a revolutionary new Belfast restaurant that sells meat inside baps. "Aw it was amazing" said first time burger eater Eden...
An article released today by satirical website the Ulster Fry is reportedly costing Northern Ireland employers 'a clean fortune', as lazy-arsed employees read it whilst pretending to busy. "Aye I'm supposed to be doing something in a spreadsheet or some...
Bakers from Ulster's two main communities joined forces today, after news that pudgy pastry peddlers, Greggs, were set to open 50 stores across Northern Ireland. Gordon Snowball, from P.A.S.T.I.E, the Protestant Association of Stuffing Tastyness Into Everything, told the Ulster Fry that they'd 'been...
Office staff across Northern Ireland are today growing increasingly concerned that alarming levels of 'boring work stuff' is having a negative impact upon their Facebook productivity. Data input clerk, Owen Idle, complained, "The audacity of them to expect me to earn the money...
Employers across the globe have been alerted to a worldwide job application scam, with millions of people everywhere claiming to have qualifications from fictional academic institutions. Antrim man Kevin Spratt failed to land a job with a top Belfast law firm this week, after thorough background checks into his CV failed...
With the car industry already steeped in crisis following the Volkswagen emission scandal, Belfast car dealership Charles Hurst has poured more yet fuel on the fire by announcing they are recalling their fly-on-the-wall BBCNI documentary, House of Cars. The move comes...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...