After years of monopolising random days off work, banks have been sensationally stripped of the powers - with the Credit Union set to take over the role instead. "Lets be honest, banks have been a shower of useless hoors the last...
Experts at Larne School of Economics have warned that unless the government steps in soon, there may be a chronic flag shortage in Northern Ireland by 2018. Dr Mervyn Fullerton, head of the think tank, claims that “since Naomi Long...
The Police Service of Northern Ireland have issued a warning to men considering wearing shorts to the office tomorrow, that they could be in for a ‘whole handlin’ - possibly leading to a ‘wile kicking’. The caution comes after a...
There were wild celebrations in Belfast today after it was announced that the city's famous Odyssey Arena was to be renamed in honour of its new sponsors - energy suppliers SSE. "We're delighted with the move," said marketing director Cheapskate...
With yet more technical difficulties striking their services today, Ulster Bank chiefs have confirmed that they are set to convert their holdings into a chain of bookies, in an effort to improve the chances of actually making a cash withdrawal...
Cash strapped public transport operator, Translink, have reiterated their commitment to sorting out their ongoing financial problems by appointing a new Chief Executive on a bargain salary of just £156,000 per year. Translink say the new incoming boss was the 'natural choice' for the top job after a...
In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out the window. The new system has already been trialled on a select number of Ryanair's Boeing 737...
Following a spate of vandalism just hours after the official launch of 'Belfast Bikes', Belfast City Council this evening announced a 'brilliant new money saving plan' for the scheme, which will see most of the new 'Public Bikes' installed directly to the...
With the elections looming and the marching season just around the corner, one Belfast pub has struck upon an ingenious way to make money from Northern Ireland’s honest, hard-working sectarians - by installing the world's first Fleg Machine. For the first time ever, drunken city centre revellers can now get off their face whilst simultaneously getting into other peoples faces,...
The world’s economy has been thrown into chaos this week, after news emerged that human excrement could now be mined for precious metals, including gold, silver and platinum. Scientists in Denver shocked the world on Monday, when they claimed that...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...