BBC sports pundit Mark Sidebottom's bottom is in the same place as everyone else's bottom, an investigative study by top scientists has revealed. "We've been looking into Mr Sidebottom's bottom for several months," says leading biologist Anil Kavity, "and we've...
'Shall I compare thee to a sausage roll? Thou art more beautiful at room temperature' As the world marks the 400th anniversary of William Shakespeare's death, historians have remarkably discovered he was originally from Northern Ireland. "Aye we found a rake of unseen first drafts he'd...
Getting a TV licence is about to become an even bigger pain in the arse, after the the BBC announced they would be seeking 'further proof' that homeowners are properly qualified to own and operate a television. Planned for 2016, the new measures will...
Pop-star Beyonce, who recently got news at the Ulster Hospital that she had two buns in the oven, is reportedly 'pure snapping' at George Clooney and his wife Amal for 'blatantly copying’ them, according to Jay Zed's best mucker,...
Lazy people across the country have joined forces to condemn the TV charity extravaganza known as Sport Relief, describing it as "blatant exercise propaganda." In a hard hitting statement released today in lifestyle magazine Men's Fatness, the President of the...
BBC Northern Ireland executives are celebrating this evening after their flagship programme, The Nolan Show, won a staggering four Oscars at last night's star studded Academy Awards ceremony. "We didn't even know that the show had been nominated," said Peter Cringe, Head of...
A new movie that began shooting in Belfast today is thought to be the first of its kind, as it will not have "any auld shite about the troubles". "It's a romantic comedy," said the film's director Francis Ford Cortina,...
The Journey, a film telling the story of the unusual relationship between Ian Paisley and Martin McGuinness, hit the cinema screens at the weekend - with Timothy Spall and Colm Meaney in the title roles. This left lots of parts for...
Daytime TV legend Henry Kelly has waded into the Brexit debate by claiming that the UK wouldn't have voted leave if his pan-European quiz show Going For Gold was still on the air. We bumped into the down-at-heel former quiz...
Angry Game of Thrones fans have established a "Twaddel style" protest camp at the Dark Hedges in Country Antrim, furious that they are no longer allowed to drive down their traditional route. Fans of the show have flocked from all...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...