A new movie that began shooting in Belfast today is thought to be the first of its kind, as it will not have "any auld shite about the troubles". "It's a romantic comedy," said the film's director Francis Ford Cortina,...
Princess Leiabout After years of leading the rebellion, Princess Leiabout can't be arsed anymore. She has three wains who do her head in and she lies on the sofa smoking fegs and ordering groceries from Iceland's website. The Prime Minister...
Former James Bond actor Piece Brosnan is set to take join an elite list of Holywood legends who have successfully made a pigs ear of the Belfast accent on the silver screen, it has been revealed. Navan born Brosnan wowed onlookers with his...
After announcing his retirement as Sinn Féin President Gerry Adams is set to cash in on his new found free time by taking part in ITV's hit reality show, I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here. The Louth TD...
In the light of the fresh allegations against former Prime Minster Ted Heath, the British Home Office has just confirmed that as of 5pm today every celebrity in the entire world will be listed on the UK Sex Offenders Register. They...
Former South Antrim MP, the Reverend William McCrea, has stunned the world of pop music by scooping a late wild card entry to the Eurovision Song Contest, after claiming that he is representing the little-known EU state "The Loyalist People's Republic...
A Co Antrim businessman has launched an X-rated website aimed squarely at Northern Irish Protestants. Ballymena entrepreneur Bertie Oldman told The Ulster Fry that he believed that he'd spotted a gap in the market. "The World Wide Interwab is full of...
In light of the recent controversies over the cost and ethics of Belfast Zoo, the City council has sensationally voted to replace the entire stock of animals with real, live human exhibits. "We've loads of exciting things lined up," said...
There is growing concern among animal rights activists that the government intends to back down on a commitment to return TV star Eamonn Holmes to his natural habitat. Holmes has been in captivity since 1979, when he was snared by...
In a sensational move guaranteed to please music fans the world over, the BBC has announced that it intends to cover this year's Twelfth in the same detail as it covers the Glastonbury Festival. "The BBC is committed to bringing...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...