A proposal to give all MPs a massive boot up the hole has been passed by 542 votes to 3 in a special evening sitting of the House of Common People. The decision follows another "meaningful vote" in Westminster, which...
The UK's top scientist has warned that the on-going Brexit stalemate may have far reaching ramifications for the official launch of this year's quare stretch in the evenings. Speaking exclusively to The Ulster Fry, Professor Brian Cox expressed concern that...
Following the comments of EU Council President Donald Tusk, in which he said there was a special place in hell for those who campaigned for Brexit without a plan, Satan has come forward to reveal he is planning accommodation...
Wales could be ceded to the Republic of Ireland under new Brexit proposals leaked to The Ulster Fry. The news follows reports that 47% of the UK population has now applied for an Irish passport, with officials in Dublin admitting...
With a vote of no confidence set to decide the future of Theresa May later tonight, Santa Claus has piled pressure on the beleaguered PM by admitting that even he doesn't believe in her anymore. "I wrote a letter of...
UK politics looks set for further disarray after Prime Minister Theresa May decided to phone in to her line manager, the Queen, and tell her that she isn't feeling great and will be off for ''at least a couple...
Top meteorologists have revealed a new scale of windiness based on Sammy Wilson's face, that they hope will make it easier for people to understand the dangers posed by bad weather. "We've been trying to warn people about incoming storms...
Prime Minister Theresa May is to finally give up trying to sort out the Brexit shitstorm and hand control of the process to Team Typhoon from The Apprentice. "When you think about it, they're a perfect fit," says BBC political...
After reports of flashing orange lights and manic laughter from DUP headquarters, party SPADS confirmed last night that East Antrim MP Sammy Wilson had successfully created 16 copies of himself as part of a plan to defend the border...
Emergency talks were held at Stormont this morning after dissident pop band The Spice Girls (TSG) released what police describe as a 'credible warning' that they would target Belfast if the assembly is not restored. "We have firm evidence that...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...