As British media outlets keep the nation safe by reporting immigration problems like  terrorist attacks, the UK government has taken swift action to avoid further foreign invasion, by hiring a team of immigration specialists from abroad. "Our country is at breaking point!"...
With scandal engulfing the United States following Donald Trump’s travel ban, the DUP today unveiled an updated election manifesto which proposes a similar scheme in Northern Ireland. “The first country we’ll ban will be the Republic of Ireland of course!”...
There was anger across the UK yesterday after the O2 phone network suffered major connectivity issues, which a company spokesman admitted meant users in London were the same quality of service "you usually get West of the Bann." "Aye the...
Ferry operators in Larne and Belfast are engaged in crisis meetings this evening after the Isle of Man broke free of its moorings in high winds and drifted north, before becoming wedged between Northern Ireland and Scotland. The problems began...
After an eventful 2016 which has taken the lives of countless celebrities, ushered in Brexit, seen Donald Trump elected president and left everyone bickering about stuff, the citizens of planet Earth collectively threw the towel in today it has emerged. "I'm pissed off being...
Russian spies considered hacking into the files of political parties here, but decided that it was a complete waste of time. The news came to light after the UK defence secretary accused the Russian government of using 'cyber-terrorism' to destabilise...
North Korean supremo Kim Jong-un has joined in with National Take a Photo of Your Child at the Front Door Day by posting photos of his favourite missiles standing outside their launch sites. In an exclusive interview with The Ulster...
Following the sad passing of renowned physicist Professor Stephen Hawking, the grim realisation that UTV weather villain Frank Mitchell is now the UK's leading scientist has sent shockwaves through the country. "It was either him or Brian Cox," explained top...
As the western world prepares for its first total solar eclipse in almost a century, scientists have revealed that the spectacle will offer a 'once in a lifetime opportunity' for people across the globe to experience what life is...
Celebrity politician Boris Johnson is said to be absolutely shitting himself after he accidentally persuaded the people of the UK to leave the European Union. Sources close to the former London mayor have told us that he never really expected...

RECENT POPULAR ARTICLES

Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...