A poll conducted by Portavogie University has found that Northern Irish people rate their own accent as the sexiest in Northern Ireland, closely followed by that of the people from Northern Ireland. "Belfast people rate their accent the highest," says Professor Henry...
Archaeologists at the University of Ballymoney have discovered that the weather is 'a bit milder' than it was this time last week. "We've been examining the historical records," said Dr Brian Cramp, "and it would appear that last week it would...
The PSNI have released details of a new Traffic Branch unit that will specifically target young males driving so called "hot hatches". "The Boy Racer Division is currently undergoing special training," said Superintendent Brian Cant, "tailored to allow them to first...
The classic playground Limerick "Old King Billy had a ten foot willy" has been voted Northern Ireland's favourite poem in a survey conducted by the University of East Strabane. The meaning of the rhyme - which reads "Old King Billy had...
A Newtownards woman is said to be "in shock, but otherwise unharmed" after she inadvertently conjured up Satan whilst shopping in her local branch of Argos. 43 year old Agnes Toucan visited the store in search of new of curling tongs,...
There was widespread panic across Northern Ireland last night, as Mother Nature unleashed what journalists have described as a "Massive Snow Explosion" . The extent of the weather chaos was matched only by the wildness of the celebrations in...
The Department of Culture, Arts and Leisure has unveiled a new fund to support the replacement of Troubles related wall murals around the country with new, positive images. Announcing the scheme, Culture Minister Carál Ní Chuilín told reporters that these kind of images...
Following reports that The Sun newspaper was dropping their long running ‘Page 3’ feature, Ulster’s media outlets have jumped at the opportunity to increase their own sales - by bringing the popular topless column to the NI market. As news broke that...
The reputation of Ulster’s teachers took a knock this morning, with the publication of a report that suggests NI kids ‘haven’t a f**king clue what they are talking about’. The news will come as a blow to many patriotic Ulster parents,...
Health chiefs have said that services are stretched to "breaking point" after an unprecedented influx of so-called patients to Accident and Emergency departments up and down the country. "This morning it seemed like everyone in Northern Ireland felt the need to...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...