The people of Northern Ireland are united in praise of their political representatives this evening after another day of edifying shenanigans at Stormont. The day began with a number of walkouts, swiftly followed by a statement from the First Minister...
Attempts to broker a Programme for Government at Stormont are in crisis again, after a Sinn Fein statement condemned what they describe as "the increasingly sectarian nature of shared shopping spaces". "Our streets and retail parks are increasingly awash with...
Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams has told reporters that boy band One Direction "no longer exists" and is "is not involved in any musical activity." The statement follows the allegations last week that the shadowy group is still fully operational, despite...
With chocolate manufacturers Cadbury's searching for a new "Milk Tray Man" for their iconic advertising campaign, it has emerged that the Stormont parties are considering putting candidates forward for the job. "It's an important position with international recognition," a senior civil...
Following the news that the Republic has an openly gay Taoiseach, it has emerged that voters in Northern Ireland are on the verge of electing their first MP to openly admit to that he's a bigoted bastard. Whilst there is...
In a surprising move the DUP have decided to adopt a "let's make up mad shite" approach to policy, by announcing that they propose to build a tunnel under the Irish Sea to Scotland. "We've been reading the Ulster Fry...
A new form of participatory democracy is being planned for Northern Ireland, which is hoped will finally allow us to avoid seeing Sammy Wilson continually. Under the bold scheme, the controversial Petition of Concern will be replaced with referendums on...
The Stormont talks are likely to last at least another 24 hours after it emerged that Theresa May had bought the DUP a state of the art hot-tub as part of their Westminster deal. The Ulster Fry understands that the facility has...
The popular Pokémon Go phone App is fuelling sectarian conflict in Northern Ireland, according to a new report released today by Larne School of Economics. In the game, players join red, blue and gold teams and fight for control of locations...
With the Assembly back up and running again, the writers of the Ulster Fry have been shocked to learn that they must now translate their website into Irish and Ulster Scots. Agus an...

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