Stormont's finance committee members were engaged in tense negotiations this morning, over the content of sing-along on their bus trip to Dublin. It is understood that a heated argument developed over the proposal to sing the school trip staple "Everywhere...
Tory supporters across the UK are 'extremely concerned' it has emerged, after Googling the Democratic Unionist Party and discovering they are even more hateful than the people they voted for. “I’m absolutely disgusted."revealed 31 year old Tory fan, Branston Pickle. "I mean, blocking a woman’s right to...
Attempts to broker a Programme for Government at Stormont are in crisis again, after a Sinn Fein statement condemned what they describe as "the increasingly sectarian nature of shared shopping spaces". "Our streets and retail parks are increasingly awash with...
After DUP leader Arlene foster made an appearance at the Ulster GAA final, Northern Ireland's other party leaders have all revealed plans to ''reach out" to their traditional opponents. "If Arlene was in a Rocky movie, this'd be like a...
As Stormont collapses yet again, the Secretary of State has come up with an original solution to the ongoing problems- in future, the parties will each hold their own Assembly in community venues of their choice. His unusual decision follows...
Sinn Féin President Gerry Adams has told supporters that he intends to set a date when he'll be able to deny ever having their support. "We have a 10 year plan," he told a party gathering this morning. "By the...
The Northern Ireland Executive is ahead of schedule in its quest to give everyone in Northern Ireland a part-time, poorly paid job by 2025. "It's looking good," said DETI Minister Jonathan Bell, as he revealed the loss of yet more skilled...
Following the news that a prominent DUP MLA had been the target of a Russian spam attack, it has emerged that those same scammers have been on the receiving end of dodgy messages from members of his own party. According...
Following today's surprising announcement from the UUP that it intends to withdraw its Minister from the Stormont Executive, thousands of employees around Northern Ireland have been inspired to follow suit, and simply stop going to work. "This is great news," said...
Long considered the last bastion of honour, generosity and self-sacrifice, the public perception of local politicians has been badly tarnished this week, following revelations that one of them might be a manipulative, money-grabbing twat who is willing to use their elected influence to accumulate...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...