A new form of participatory democracy is being planned for Northern Ireland, which is hoped will finally allow us to avoid seeing Sammy Wilson continually. Under the bold scheme, the controversial Petition of Concern will be replaced with referendums on...
The on-going political shenanigans at Westminster took an unusual twist today when it emerged that top Tories have invited Arlene Foster and Michelle O'Neill to take over from embattled UK Prime Minister Theresa May. "It's clear that Mrs May has...
An anonymous member of the Stormont Executive has revealed that the annual round of cross-party talks is in reality a front for a massive political piss-up. "Everyone tries to fit in sneaky work pints during the run up to Christmas," said our...
Angry MLAs have vowed to take industrial action after the Secretary of State announced that their salaries will be slashed to a meagre £36k per year. "This is scandalous," argued one Lagan Valley DUP MLA, who asked not to be...
There were angry exchanges in Stormont today after DUP Minister Mervyn Storey revealed that he had recently got lost while travelling to a public engagement, because the language on his ministerial car Sat Nav had been changed to Irish. "I...
The Northern Ireland Executive is ahead of schedule in its quest to give everyone in Northern Ireland a part-time, poorly paid job by 2025. "It's looking good," said DETI Minister Jonathan Bell, as he revealed the loss of yet more skilled...
Plans are afoot to mark the 20th birthday of the Good Friday Agreement by holding a gigantic cross-community slagging match in the middle of a muddy field outside Lisburn. The Ulster Fry has learned that the UK government has earmarked...
Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness believes that undercover ‘estate agents’ may be threatening the sale process of his house. Mr McGuinness told supporters, "I think serious questions have to be asked about the sale of my bungalow, particularly as we...
The DUP's South Belfast candidate Jonathan Bell has found himself at the eye of a political storm, after he "inadvertently" persuaded 83 year old former Ulster Unionist MP Martin Smith to sign his nomination papers. After the news came to light,...
Prime Minister Theresa May today reassured UK travellers that their ability to sneakily bring home umpteen cartons of cheap fags that taste like your arsehole will be her top priority during Brexit negotiations. "We may have voted to leave the EU but we're not giving up our...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...