Following the news that South Korean politicians have been bribing elderly voters by offering them viagra, it has emerged that parties here are also using drugs as inducements to woo voters. "We call them performance enhancing drugs," we were told...
With Stormont suspended and political leaders busy hanging round TV studios issuing 'grim warnings' about the talks, people around Northern Ireland are beginning to behave like the teacher has left the classroom. The reality of having no MLAs to make a...
Sinn Fein have dismissed suggestions that Gerry Adams promoting a cookbook supposedly inspired by the Good Friday Agreement will be hard to swallow for anyone who lived through the violence that preceded it. "Ach your arse is parsley! We've been...
The Assembly elections are almost upon us, but there is still time for candidates to make their mark. Working around the clock, our crack team of political analysts and researchers have uncovered the secrets to an election winning strategy in Northern Ireland. It's much...
UUP leader Mike Nesbitt has waded into the growing debate about the widespread availability of internet pornography by announcing that, if elected to Westminster, his party will lobby for the return of 1970s style filth. "In the 21st Century the average...
An anonymous member of the Stormont Executive has revealed that the annual round of cross-party talks is in reality a front for a massive political piss-up. "Everyone tries to fit in sneaky work pints during the run up to Christmas," said our...
The increasingly bitter election campaign took an unusual twist today after it emerged that leaflets linking the DUP and Sinn Fein have been distributed across Belfast. The badly made flyers make a series of outrageous allegations about the parties, saying...
Thousands of people have taken to the streets of Northern Ireland this evening after it was announced that their beloved leader, Peter Robinson, had "stepped aside" as First Minister. With Stormont on the brink of collapse, angry protests have been reported across the...
Political pundits have been left speechless after the turnout in the Fermanagh South Tyrone constituency reached a staggering 186.8%, a full three hours before polling actually closes. "We've never seen anything like it," said one expert. "Who says people aren't...
Long considered the last bastion of honour, generosity and self-sacrifice, the public perception of local politicians has been badly tarnished this week, following revelations that one of them might be a manipulative, money-grabbing twat who is willing to use their elected influence to accumulate...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...