Dissident Republicans today unveiled a new propaganda mural showing their vision of the future - a bottomless black hole of misery. Painted on the side of a chip shop in the Bogside, the artwork "represents all that the dissident movement...
The more observant among you will have noticed that our councillors have been appearing in local papers more often recently, pointing at potholes and telling everyone what a great job they did getting a toilet opened for an extra...
A proposal to give all MPs a massive boot up the hole has been passed by 542 votes to 3 in a special evening sitting of the House of Common People. The decision follows another "meaningful vote" in Westminster, which...
The UK's top scientist has warned that the on-going Brexit stalemate may have far reaching ramifications for the official launch of this year's quare stretch in the evenings. Speaking exclusively to The Ulster Fry, Professor Brian Cox expressed concern that...
The on-going political shenanigans at Westminster took an unusual twist today when it emerged that top Tories have invited Arlene Foster and Michelle O'Neill to take over from embattled UK Prime Minister Theresa May. "It's clear that Mrs May has...
Sinn Fein have dismissed suggestions that Gerry Adams promoting a cookbook supposedly inspired by the Good Friday Agreement will be hard to swallow for anyone who lived through the violence that preceded it. "Ach your arse is parsley! We've been...
Following the comments of EU Council President Donald Tusk, in which he said there was a special place in hell for those who campaigned for Brexit without a plan, Satan has come forward to reveal he is planning accommodation...
Prime Minister Theresa May is to finally give up trying to sort out the Brexit shitstorm and hand control of the process to Team Typhoon from The Apprentice. "When you think about it, they're a perfect fit," says BBC political...
With the Brexit process facing yet more delays, the UK government are considering allowing Northern Ireland public transport company Translink to oversee the timetable for exiting the EU. "This Brexit thing is taking ages to sort out," confirmed Theresa May....
After reports of flashing orange lights and manic laughter from DUP headquarters, party SPADS confirmed last night that East Antrim MP Sammy Wilson had successfully created 16 copies of himself as part of a plan to defend the border...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...