Local News


Belfast descends into anarchy after bin day change

The United Nations has been forced to declare a State of Emergency in Belfast after a change in the city’s bin collection rota led to widespread disorder. Attempts by the City Council to roll out the new schedule ended in failure, with some disaster experts warning that up to 30% of households didn’t known what

World news


Donald Trump vows to build wall around Lisburn

US Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has stirred further controversy by telling a packed audience in New York that he’d build a wall around the Northern Ireland town of Lisburn. “We will build a wall around Lisburn, and we will make Lisburn pay for it,” he promised the crowd. “For too long these people have been



Havelock House to be sold with classic UTV memorabilia, says broadcaster

Following the announcement that UTV will relocate from Havelock House after almost 60 years, the Ulster Fry has learned that the sale of the iconic building will include classic UTV memorabilia in a bid to attract buyers. In our world exclusive report we look at some of the amazing items you could inherit by investing in this



Belfast Zoo animals to be replaced with live human exhibits.

In light of the recent controversies over the cost and ethics of Belfast Zoo, the City council has sensationally voted to replace the entire stock of animals with real, live human exhibits. “We’ve loads of exciting things lined up,” said the Council’s Head of Recreation, Victoria Park. “This’ll be a real shot in the arm



Hackers release list of substances taken by Irish athletes in Rio

After leaking info about high profile athletes Chris Froome, Bradley Wiggins & Mo Farah in recent days, Russian hackers have now released data showing what substances Irish athletes were taking during the Rio Olympics. “Some of the stuff the Irish team were on would shock you!” revealed sports analyst Anita Trainer. “We found dangerously high levels of wheaten bread,



Ginger kids to get separate schools under Stormont shake up

Children will soon be segregated by hair colour under new guidelines introduced by Stormont’s Department of Education. The plan will see a host of new schools built across the province, as the department works to ensure that Blonde, Brunette and Ginger children are given separate educational facilities, a task made more difficult by the religious



Upcycling to be added to “anti-social” crimes list

People who “upcycle” furniture and other items may soon find themselves in trouble if a new law at Stormont finds its way onto the statute books, Under the proposal the phrase “Anti-Social Behaviour” will be redefined to include anything that is really, really annoying, such as taking ages at petrol pumps, owning an outlandish beard