Local News

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PSNI exam cheats: those hard questions revealed

The people of Northern Ireland were left stunned yesterday when they learned that more than 50 trainee officers had been found cheating in their police exams. That got us thinking about how hard this test must be, so we sent our best undercover reporter to the training college. After he successfully scraped through a rigorous 50/50

World news

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How to survive Brexit – an Ulster Fry Guide

There’s turmoil in the financial markets, politicians are resigning left, right and centre, and no one seems to know whether we’re in, out or kinda half way out with our mammy saying you can’t go without a coat. However there are things we can all do to lessen the impact of the crisis – here’s

Business

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Craic no longer Ninety after European exits.

Shares on the Craic Exchange have taken a tumble as the combination of the EU Referendum and Northern Ireland and the Republic’s exits from Euro 2016 took its toll on the markets. The FTSE Craic Index was buoyant on Thursday, shattering the previous record of 90 to reach over 110 at close of trading. “Aye, sure

Entertainment

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Britain’s Got Talent has “too many immigrants”, claim arseholes

Some of the nation’s best known and respected racists have unanimously slammed ITV talent show Britain’s Got Talent for having “too many Jonny foreigners”. Paul Golding, leader of national insecurity movement Britain First said “It’s supposed to be about the best talent in Britain, yet we’ve got thon Russian fella swallowing swords, an American doll doing ballet and some big f**k off

Sport

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UN aid convoy brings clean underwear to Irish fans trapped in France

The UN has stepped in to avert ‘a potential humanitarian crisis’, by bringing much needed supplies to fans of Northern Ireland and the Republic stranded in France. Now two weeks in, it is understood that many fans are running low on basic necessities, including underwear, Veda bread, flags and Buckfast. One stranded member of the

Politics

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The EU Referendum – an Ulster Fry guide

It hasn’t been mentioned much on the news, but there’s a referendum on the UK’s membership of the EU soon. This is one of the most confusing votes we’ve ever had in Northern Ireland – Sinn Fein are saying “Brits in” and the DUP saying “Brits Out” – so we thought it’d be useful for us

Lifestyle

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Police investigating multiple conflicting “best daddy in the world” claims

After a busy morning in which almost everyone posted heart-warming Father’s Day messages on social media, Interpol and the PSNI have announced that they are setting up a joint task-force to get to the bottom of multiple conflicting claims of people saying their daddy is “the best in the world”. “Clearly someone is lying here” said Detective

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