Local News

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Workplace violence erupts in row over who had quietest Christmas

Reports are coming in that heated workplace debates over who had the quietest Christmas are turning violent. “Up and down the country grey faced office workers are trying to out do each other about who had the most boring time off,” says the commander of the PSNI Riot Squad Walter Cannon. “These things start innocently

World news

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The Ulster Fry movie mashup review of 2016

2016’s been a weird year, so since we’ve had nothing better to do we thought we’d find a weird way to review it. After existing on a diet of sausage rolls, leftover After-Eights and Baileys for the last few days, this is the best we could do…. The 2016th Sense It’s January 2016 and after

Business

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Celebrations everywhere as Belfast man completes trolley-free Christmas shop

Northern Ireland chalked up another historic first today after local man, Vince Pie, successfully did his entire Christmas shop in Tesco, Newtonbreda without a trolley or basket. “Thon things are for weemin!” he scowled when we approached him for an exclusive interview. “Ye don’t see Bear Grylls taking a basket into the woods when he’s hungry

Entertainment

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10 random memes that the internet made for us

OK, we’re bored with heating scandals, and a bit hungover, so can’t really be arsed doing a proper post. However we found a handy wee yoke on the interweb that lets you put in a photo into Facebook Messenger, and it turns it into a meme with random text. We’ve had a hoke through our

Sport

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BBC reveals ‘All England’ Sports Personality of the Year plans

In the light of the controversial decision to omit prominent Northern Irish sports people like Carl Frampton, Jonathan Rea, Bethany Firth and Jackie Fullerton from the Sports Personality shortlist this year, BBC Executives have confirmed that in future the award will be renamed the All-England Personality of the Year. “There’s no point in beating about

Politics

Lifestyle

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Norn Iron “texting codes” the Police forgot to tell you about

The other day the PSNI released a handy guide for parents, supposedly warning them of the dangerous coded messages their teenage children may be using in text conversations. We’ve been looking into it, and have discovered a rake of special local codes that the police forgot to mention. You may find them useful…. Family and

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